What is a vegetarian to do?

 I had been looking forward to lunch at this restaurant for months. Located in a nice hotel in Santa Barbara, I expected this restaurant to knock my socks off. I finally had a day off and went up to Santa Barbara for the morning. I fotzed around town, waiting for lunchtime.

At 11:30, I finally walked over to the hotel and found the restaurant. It was completely empty. Just me and a bunch of helpful staff. I looked at the menu. Hm. Hm. Nothing for vegetarians. One green salad. All of the other salads had meat or fish. No pasta. No starches. No tofu, no vegetable soup or stew or chili or tagine or casserole. Nothing.

 I thought the server might be able to help. We WERE in Santa Barbara, for goodness' sake.

 "I'm a vegetarian. What do you suggest?"
 "Do you eat fish?" I managed to hold back from asking my smartass question: "Is a fish a vegetable?"
 "No."

 "Well..." she regarded the menu. "We have this green salad that is very good....I think maybe they might be able to make you a grilled vegetable sandwich or...well, the green salad. We have that. Or the cobb salad is very good. We could leave off everything but the egg and cheese..."

 I didn't mention that I loathe hard-boiled eggs. I figured it was just too much. "Or this Caesar salad," she said, pointing to the menu. "Well, it just has fish, with the anchovies..."

"I guess I'll have the green salad," I said. "And the citrus-marinated olives. And a glass of sauvignon blanc."

The wine took the edge off. The olive plate was giant and very good. I ended up taking 3/4 of it to go and giving it to a very grateful homeless woman.

But that was lunch. Green salad and olives.

Believe me, I left hungry, and more than a little sad. I felt like something I had wanted and had anticipated had let me down so much.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I was, that in 2012 a fine California restaurant would show so little regard for its vegetarian clientle. What would you have done?

I went crazy buying vinegar when I visited 99 Ranch Market, an Asian grocery, in Las Vegas. It's not a bad addiction - three bottles were less than $5. The winner is the Spicy Vinegar. It is sharp and really, really spicy. The Palm Vinegar had a nasty musty odor and went down the drain. You win some, you lose some.

About Making New Food Choices

I'm not on a diet.
This is a choice.
I'm not feeling deprived.
There are not foods I "can't have."
I am choosing to eat a certain way.
I am choosing to change my life.
I don't miss cheesy pizza.
I don't miss pecan pie.
I don't miss feeling stuffed and kludgy.
I have more energy.
I have fewer mood swings.
I do feel hungry sometimes and that's ok. It's normal. And I will survive.
I want to have a better life and I'm making choices to make it better.
There's no way to "cheat" because then I would be the cheated-upon.
I don't care what you eat or don't eat.
I just want you to understand that you don't have to feel bad for me, hide what you're eating from me, or express pity for me.
I'm fine. I feel happier about food than I have in a long time. This is a path I want to be on.

PS Down 13 pounds in 5 weeks.

Dump Cake: Food of the Gods

Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There's no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On! www.duncanhines.com.
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Oh, yes, the irony of being selected to write a post about dessert just after I joined Weight Watchers. I KNOW.

When it comes to dessert, I'm all about the butter. A good shortbread cookie can make me buckle at the knees. One time Angela from Fluid Pudding brought me a Gooey Butter Cake from St. Louis and I ate most of it with my hands in a San Francisco hotel room.

The other day at work was the first time I felt a twinge of regret at trying to lose weight because someone brought in Dump Cake and the delicious smell permeated the office, all buttery and warm and oh my. I love me some dump cake. You know what it is, right? The simplest thing on earth. Powered by massive quantities of butter.

You put a can of crushed pineapple with juice into the bottom of a 9x13 pan, put a can of Comstock cherry pie filling in, spread a box of (of course) Duncan Hines yellow cake mix on top, put two whole sticks of cut up butter on top, toss some chopped pecans or walnuts on if you must, then bake the weird looking mess for an hour at 350 degrees. Voila. Dump Cake. The top gets all crusty and buttery and the pineapple juice bubbles up throughout and caramelizes and it still looks a little lumpy and misshapen.

Is it good? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm not just putting this recipe here because it involves both a Comstock product and a Duncan Hines product, even though that works out pretty nicely, doesn't it?

No. I am putting this recipe here because if you make it for any holiday party you go to - party at a friend's house, church or work potluck, a little get-together - people will rave. You will be the star of the show.

You invest 10 minutes of work time (if you're slow), a few bucks in ingredients, and people will love you more than if you brought the strawberry shortcake pictured above (which was a little dry, if you ask me).

It's all about the butter.

I'm pencilling in a piece of dump cake for Christmas 2012. Until then, I'll be over there by the vegetable tray, dreaming.

*****
Remember to check out Duncan Hines' website www.duncanhines.com to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

Adventures in Cuisine with Mom

Cross-posted from Suebob's Red Stapler

Mom needed nutmeg and I needed cinnamon, so I placed a Penzey's order. If you like to cook and you don't know Penzey's, you NEED to. They have the best, tastiest, freshest spices at really reasonable prices.

No, they are not paying me.

ANYWAY - Penzey's sent me some free stuff in the order, including some salt-free spice mix. I gave it to Mom and she said it sounded delicious and that she could not WAIT to try it.

Cut to the next day.

Now is where I should perhaps mention that my mother is a terrible cook. I don't know how she does it, but she has the culinary equivalent of tone deafness.

So. She says "Do you want to taste the carrots I cooked with the new spices?"

Sure, I say. I take a taste and LIKE TO DIE.

Mom didn't use the salt-free spice blend. She used the cinnamon and nutmeg. She threw in some honey for good measure. What on earth, people.

"Gack!" I spewed.

"You don't like it?" she said.

I don't know how she does it. It's horrible. It's like me trying to sing or something. It just should not be done.

Photo from Flickr by Funadium (Marco Bernardini). Used under a Creative Commons license.