Saturday, August 20, 2005

Is that a gas leak, or a durian?

I tasted a durian today for the first time. After years of hearing about the legendary stinky fruit, I finally met one in person.

I was at Whole Foods and right near the doors, there was a very tall, frighteningly thin woman handing out samples of durian. Well, she wasn't just handing them out - she was really sort of evangelizing about them. Her zeal for durian was of a manic level only usually seen in TV preachers and Ron Popeil.

Because she was by the open doors, the level of stink wasn't too bad, but it was definitely there - a funk that smelled like a powerful gas leak mixed with poo.

But I had to try the durian, so I forged on. She made me take a taste, which had a powerful gas-leak flavor. Not good. Then she MADE me take a second, which she said would be so good, sweet and creamy, it would erase the first. Not so. The second was about 30 percent better, but still nasty enough to make me look around for something else to sample.

She asked me how I liked it. I said "As long as there is cherimoya in the world, I don't need durian."

Oh my. Those were fighting words. She was outraged .

"This is BETTER than cherimoya," she shrieked. "Much better!! Cherimoya is nowhere near as good as durian, and durian is much better for you."

I scurried away to buy other vegetables and overheard her telling people, among other things, that the wonderful durian could raise your seratonin level. Whatever.

But there are many durian fans out there. Here are some links to durian fansites.

Durian On-Line Homepage. This one mentions farting in the first paragraph. Hm.

Durian Palace. With links to articles about durian-flavored condoms and a durian that sparked a terrorist alert in Australia.

Wikipedia has to weigh in, including some bits about how one can get killed by a durian if not careful (by one falling, not by consuming one).

A westerner tells his tale of converting to durian love, though he mentions another possible way to die by durian.


Moonbasket said...

Durian has more bioflaminams than cherimoya. Lots more. Literally double the amount. So, it is better.

Suebob said...

I HATE the taste of bioflaminams and you know it!

Laurabob said...

You could market this to wind powered electricity farmers, living in windy areas would be a bonus.

Parke Wilde said...

Ah, durian. Perhaps it simply doesn't translate. There is a whole rigamarole that was missing in the Whole Foods aisle. Your post brings back dear memories, from an exchange student year in West Java at age 17, of riding around in a van with my host family, with the windows down, trying to find the durian stall that must be SOME where nearby, since we could smell it from blocks away. Over there! Once found, my host father would delve into the most erudite discussion and debate with the durian seller, complete with detective-like tappings of the hard spiny shell and multiple shakings to the ear. It was like a chess game or reciting poetry. Then, the whole family oohs and aahs over the flavor, which hits the nose like smelling salts. So what if I could only pretend to bear the taste? It's not the commodity that matters, but the affair.

Chubby Hubby said...

heh heh heh... I really hate durians also. My wife, however, adores them. We have a deal. Whenever I am away from home, on a business trip, she can eat as much as she wants. But when I'm home our house is a durian-free zone.

dobbs said...

I don't care for durians either Sue, although hubby loves them. Our house is a durian-free zone all the time - he only takes them in other peoples' houses! ;)